new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
