I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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