This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
