5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
