Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
