I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
