so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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