The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
