So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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