Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
