You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
