Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You took a bar mat shot.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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