I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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