You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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