just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
