yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
In America we eat man semen.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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