I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
