Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
