he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
