You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
