I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
