i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the day after is always just damage control
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
