i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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