Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
is that a dick in a sweater?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize