Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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