Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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