Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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