I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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