So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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