you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
