His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
