I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
be right there i have to get my cape
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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