So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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