You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We left the knife in your bed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
