I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
