just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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