I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
