How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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