Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
