I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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