Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
