I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Oh god it's open bar.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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