In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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