Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
