One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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