I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
