you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
