I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
