Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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