Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
