I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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