people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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