After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
