My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
