Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
